A Subjective Appreciation of Our Best Attributes Creates a Stable Foundation for Our Evolution
by Jennifer Rose & Better Existence | January 14, 2015
Sometimes survival, whether it is physical survival or the survival of our sense of being an okay person, pits us against others. Often it pits us against those with whom we are the most intimate. This survival struggle can leave us feeling isolated and lonely. In many, if not all of us, there is a longing to overcome this isolation.
Name and fame do not bring happiness
How can we overcome the isolation inherent in natural competition? The most obvious thing to try is to achieve recognition from others, power over others, wealth, or some other kind of so-called success. It looks like that is working for others, when looking from the outside. However, just like Siddhartha, we eventually must encounter old age, illness, and death.
Survival is not always a great investment
It is a grim thought, but "survival" may not be a great investment. Competition that pits us against others as we shore up defenses against inescapable fears makes us more isolated and alone. After establishing a healthy identity that helps us function in the world, it is possible to continue to grow. The next stage of development that a fortunate few undertake is to become strong and adaptable in the face of changing circumstances. Everything that is born will die. We are afloat on a sea of change.
We need to learn to trust ourselves
The stability that will help us establish this adaptability will never be found in the shifting, diverse, and often contradictory values and opinions of other people or institutions no matter how highly esteemed. We find that strength and versatility only when we value our own subjective experience. We need to learn to trust ourselves. We need to do experiments to learn about ourselves.
Learning about our strengths changes how we perceive the world around us
Over the years we have internalized the opinions others hold of us. Especially in childhood we internalize the opinions of our family members. We need to make our way deep into the heart of our own knowing. It is essential. The opinions we hold of ourselves shape how we perceive the world around us. Being strengths-focused makes the world friendlier and more supportive because we perceive the world differently based on our opinion of who we are.
Doing our best with the strengths we have helps us find satisfaction in life
Being strengths-focused helps people to be resilient in the face of all kinds of change. We find we can flow from one role to the next like a masterful actor enjoying the playing of each part. We can rise above the pain of conflicting desires within us. For example, a man who is both a father and an employee might have conflicting desires to spend more time with his children and spend more time on an important project at work. We find that each moment, each life experience, holds its own satisfaction when we do our best, focusing on our strengths.
We are equipped to find our own truth
We all have the capacity to turn our attention to our own core. We can all notice times when we feel deeply gratified, when we feel aligned with our own sense of meaning and purpose. Taking the time to do this is indispensable on our journey to evolve into a resilient sense of self. A resilient sense of self is beyond an identity based on a career or lifestyle, or an identity that depends on relationships.
We develop empathy and enjoy life's adventure
Stabilized in our own strengths, we are free to empathize with others instead of competing with them. We can embrace changing circumstances as opportunities to learn more of the myriad possibilities within human life. We become more adventurous when confronted with the unknown, secure in our enjoyment of relating to ourselves.
"Wherever I go, there I am." Have you heard that one? When I first heard that I thought I was being scolded. My bad habits were following me everywhere. With a strengths focus I feel that wherever I go I am in good company.
These are reflections related to a book I am currently writing with my stepfather, Jerald Forster, Phd. on the subject of having a strengths focus
A mantra can be a wonderful way to build self-reliance. We will talk about mantra on February 4th as part of the Conversations With Walking Yogi Nishit Patel monthly series of teleconferences. You can subscribe for the Conversations here: Better Existence Events.
Name and fame do not bring happiness
How can we overcome the isolation inherent in natural competition? The most obvious thing to try is to achieve recognition from others, power over others, wealth, or some other kind of so-called success. It looks like that is working for others, when looking from the outside. However, just like Siddhartha, we eventually must encounter old age, illness, and death.
Survival is not always a great investment
It is a grim thought, but "survival" may not be a great investment. Competition that pits us against others as we shore up defenses against inescapable fears makes us more isolated and alone. After establishing a healthy identity that helps us function in the world, it is possible to continue to grow. The next stage of development that a fortunate few undertake is to become strong and adaptable in the face of changing circumstances. Everything that is born will die. We are afloat on a sea of change.
We need to learn to trust ourselves
The stability that will help us establish this adaptability will never be found in the shifting, diverse, and often contradictory values and opinions of other people or institutions no matter how highly esteemed. We find that strength and versatility only when we value our own subjective experience. We need to learn to trust ourselves. We need to do experiments to learn about ourselves.
Learning about our strengths changes how we perceive the world around us
Over the years we have internalized the opinions others hold of us. Especially in childhood we internalize the opinions of our family members. We need to make our way deep into the heart of our own knowing. It is essential. The opinions we hold of ourselves shape how we perceive the world around us. Being strengths-focused makes the world friendlier and more supportive because we perceive the world differently based on our opinion of who we are.
Doing our best with the strengths we have helps us find satisfaction in life
Being strengths-focused helps people to be resilient in the face of all kinds of change. We find we can flow from one role to the next like a masterful actor enjoying the playing of each part. We can rise above the pain of conflicting desires within us. For example, a man who is both a father and an employee might have conflicting desires to spend more time with his children and spend more time on an important project at work. We find that each moment, each life experience, holds its own satisfaction when we do our best, focusing on our strengths.
We are equipped to find our own truth
We all have the capacity to turn our attention to our own core. We can all notice times when we feel deeply gratified, when we feel aligned with our own sense of meaning and purpose. Taking the time to do this is indispensable on our journey to evolve into a resilient sense of self. A resilient sense of self is beyond an identity based on a career or lifestyle, or an identity that depends on relationships.
We develop empathy and enjoy life's adventure
Stabilized in our own strengths, we are free to empathize with others instead of competing with them. We can embrace changing circumstances as opportunities to learn more of the myriad possibilities within human life. We become more adventurous when confronted with the unknown, secure in our enjoyment of relating to ourselves.
"Wherever I go, there I am." Have you heard that one? When I first heard that I thought I was being scolded. My bad habits were following me everywhere. With a strengths focus I feel that wherever I go I am in good company.
These are reflections related to a book I am currently writing with my stepfather, Jerald Forster, Phd. on the subject of having a strengths focus
A mantra can be a wonderful way to build self-reliance. We will talk about mantra on February 4th as part of the Conversations With Walking Yogi Nishit Patel monthly series of teleconferences. You can subscribe for the Conversations here: Better Existence Events.
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