Start Letting Go of Small, Painful Things, and Pay Attention
by Jennifer Rose & Better Existence | December 10, 2014
I love talking to people about meditation and living a meditative lifestyle. Often, those conversations are about letting go.
Sometimes I talk to people and they tell me that letting go is just too hard, and that they can't do it. I usually say something like, "That's fine then. Don't worry about it."
I know they are worried because they want to get the benefits of meditation. They have invested a lot of time and attention, and they might be thinking, well, if I don't get it about this "letting go" thing, maybe I will miss out on Peace of Mind or something else abstract but cool sounding.
I don't worry about them at that point, because this is just the beginning of the conversation, and I have done this before. We talk more, and somehow it comes out that they are thinking of letting go of something HUGE, such as a cherished identity like being a drummer, or an intimate relationship such as loving their children, or something that is part of the social contract like having money. They talk about letting go of something that is pleasing for them or something that helps them get along in life. "Don't let go. Don't worry about it." I say. I reassure them that they can still be an awesome meditator.
 |
| "Arise" by Jennifer Rose |
At that point, I try to steer the conversation to something small that they could let go of. I might say something like, "Are there any small things you could let go of? Things that don't make you feel good, or even make you feel bad? For example, do you have a pair of socks with holes in them that you never wear, but keep in your drawer because your grandparents were raised during the depression and never got new socks? Do you have something that you would be better off without? Why not start with that? I have never met a person who couldn't think of something they had that they didn't really want or need.
We talk about getting rid of those holey socks. And it turns out that those socks might be pretty difficult to let go of. The rational mind may be ready to let go of the socks, but something else is holding on. I don't tell them to get rid of the socks. I ask them whether they think they might be able to mindfully move in the direction of letting go of the socks. I tell them I want them to notice every single feeling and thought that arises around letting go of those socks. I tell them to study and learn as much as they can about letting go from those socks.
They leave the conversation challenged, courageous, excited. "Maybe I can let go," they think.
I love talking to people about meditation. Everything about it has a natural evolution. Letting go of some unused socks can become a profound understanding of attachment. It can lead to useful insights into the nature of attachment and identity. We let go of socks, and we get interested in the process. We move onto the baking dish that is perfectly good, but hasn't been used in fifteen years. We find ourselves giving more thought to acquiring things, and whether they will bring pleasure or pain. Paying attention to the nature of our own attachments can show us our unique path to ease and freedom.
"Letting Go" is one of the images on the 2-Minute Practice Cards which introduce the chakras. They are available in the Better Existence Etsy store in physical and digital formats.
