What Would I Give the World?

[An answer suggested itself recently through a meaningful encounter.]

I had just parked my car. I was walking up to the corner of Ardmore and Park, near my home in Portland, Oregon. I saw a girl approaching the same corner, coming down the hill from Washington Park. She was walking with her dog. I slowed my pace and waited for her in order to keep 6-feet distance. This happened during the Covid-19 pandemic.

“Be careful,” she called to me.

I assumed that she was advising me not to approach her dog. However that turned out not to be the case. “There is a man…” she continued. She did not stop walking or even slow her stride. This encounter all took place in about 30-seconds time. At this point, she was clearly choking back tears and struggled to find words she could stand to say out loud. “He is saying he likes how people look in their clothes.”

She was closer to tears, and she was still walking. She had clearly been hurt by this man. I could guess she had been objectified, threatened or worse. She did not look as if she were limping or as if she had been knocked down or dragged.

“Sweetie, I am so sorry,” I said.

She continued to warn me. I am an old woman, by the way, approaching 60. She was maybe 12 or 13. She was trying to take care of me, the adult. “He is up by the stairs, on the trail. Be careful.”

She was walking away. I thought to ask her if we should call the police. Something stopped me from saying it. I had time to speak one sentence before she was gone. I did not have time to make sense of it all until after it was over. I said, “It is a very good thing that you had your dog with you. That dog loves you and would never let anything bad happen to you.”

“Thank you,” she said over her shoulder., still clearly trying not to cry. I was glad to feel that I had connected with her as the adult to the child. I had managed to care for her a little.

I cannot think of a more deeply moving encounter I have had in my life. I felt as if my own soul, or the collective soul of sisterhood had walked by me in that moment. I recalled the shock and terror of early realizations of objectification and endangerment: exhibitionists, stalkers, pornography in Dad’s apartment came back on me in a rush, the man who pulled up and asked me out the window of his car if I wanted to be a model. Of course I wanted to be beautiful and seen. Well, then, I should get in his car. He had a studio he would take me to. Such a rush of feelings for myself, my sister, the girl with the dog.  Her posture had been upright. She had been energetic. But the effort of bravely holding back tears tends to collapse the ribs at the diaphragm, to disable the breath, and round the spine. I so did not want this for her, or for any of us.

Looking back on what I did not say, and what I did say, I can’t conclude anything. I am not very sorry about not mentioning the police. I am glad I invoked love, and its nearness by naming her dog. I am glad I invoked protection.

Getting back to the bigger question of what I want to offer a world in which there are myriad dehumanizing, objectifying forces, I think of George Floyd and the police force that  took away his breath. I think of “human resources” and people’s work being taken from them with little regard for their personhood or happiness, how happiness is trivialized. I think of the Hustler magazine cover at Dad’s apartment with a naked woman being fed through a meat grinder to the wonder of my 12-year old eyes. I heard that the Taliban is exporting live girls hidden in coffins as part of their human trafficking goals.

In the face of dehumanizing forces, in the face of objectification, the discounting or disregard of the subjective experience of another, what would I give the world? I would give the people themselves back, their humanity and subjective experience. All I want for that precious girl walking her dog is that she will let the tears flow and move beyond them in full possession of herself, at her full height, with all her energy, with her greatest joys first in mind. I wish for her to always gather the best of herself together in her own warm embrace, and to always say, “This is who I am. I define and make myself according to my pleasure and take no one’s input at all to heart.“ I would give her the freedom to prize her humanity and prioritize her feelings, her goals, her values. I would give her a safe place to simply be who she is. I would give it to all of us.

 

 

A Guided Meditation

Rooted in the Earth, Floating in the Stars

by Jennifer Rose & Better Existence | August 19, 2015

This is the meditation I will be leading in a little more than one month, on Sunday morning [9.20.15]  at 'treat 2015. Find out more about 'treat at www.wellbody.com/retreat 

Karen Zuckerman, 'treat organizer, founded Wellbody in New York City to provide therapeutic bodywork and classes in self-care.

Sit in a comfortable, aligned position that allows you to breathe easily and be still. Sit in a chair if that is comfortable for you. 

Feel the support of the ground beneath you. Feel held by gravity in place. 

Release into the ground. Let yourself relax.

Bring your attention to the base of your spine. And visualize a red light, glowing warmly. Let this warm, red light radiate like roots growing into the ground beneath you. Allow this light energy to root its way all the way down to the Earth's core. 

Rooted to the Earth, let that warm, red energy flow up to your pelvic center, below your pubic bone. Feel the life force radiate up from the Earth. 

At your pelvic center, see or imagine an orange light. Let that orange light flow throughout your body. Let it flow and light every cell of your body. Feel the joy of that light. Enliven your whole being with that joy, that orange, flowing light. 

Bring your attention to your navel center. See or visualize a yellow light, like a small sun. Feel the warmth of that yellow light radiate through your whole being, nurturing and healing every cell of your body. Healing your heart. Easing your mind. Bringing nurturing peace. Bringing life. Like the Sun. 

Bring your attention to your heart center. See or imagine a green light, living, resplendent green. Let those places in your body that need this green, healing light come to mind. See or imagine this green light flowing to those places, moving easily, the way a cloud moves in the sky. You may see this green light radiating beyond your body, holding you in a cloud of healing, emerald light.

Bring your attention to your throat center, at the pit of your throat. See or imagine a sky-blue light. With your mind focused at your throat center, be aware of your breath. Inhale and exhale. You may see this sky-blue light as one point in the vastness of space. 

Bring your attention to your eyebrow center, between your two eyebrows. See or imagine a light that is deep blue, or cobalt blue, like the blue of the night sky. In the depths of that blue, night sky, see or imagine a point of light, a distant star. Feel a sense of lightness, like you can float. Experience or imagine yourself floating toward that light, that star at and beyond your eyebrow center. 

As you float up toward that point of light, shift your awareness to the center of the top of your head, at the center of the crown of your head. You are surrounded by white lights, by stars. You are floating, at ease. At peace. Grounded to the Earth. Floating in the Stars. 

Be aware of your eyebrow center. And this peace. Be aware of your throat center. And this peace. Be aware of your heart center. And this peace. Be aware of your navel center. And this peace. Be aware of your pelvic center. And this peace. Be aware of the base of your spine. And this peace. 

Om. Shanti. Shanti. Shanti. Peace. Peace. Peace.

This Meditation Inspired by Cheri Clampett Borda

(learn more about this inspiring teacher and her work here: http://www.therapeuticyoga.com/)

Six Secrets to Starting a Good Habit... You know, that thing you've been putting off

First Create a Habit of Success

by Jennifer Rose & Better Existence | August 10, 2015

If you have any so-called "bad" habits. You might be amazed at how easy it was to pick them up. Have a little ice cream at 7 pm on hot summer day, next day at 7pm, right on time, mind says "ice cream would be nice!" I am not really against ice cream. Most of us have one or two things that we believe not to be in our best interest that we continue doing all the same. 

In addition, almost everyone can think of something that they know would be good for them ... that they just haven't gotten around to. Some of the common ones that I hear about are: go to bed or get up earlier, meditate every day, exercise every day, or eat fresh, healthy foods. Some people want to write every day, or sculpt, or play an instrument, or practice gratitude. 

Why don't we do those things for our wellbeing that we sincerely wish to do? 

Bad habits are easy to pick up. Maybe there are emotional and chemical responses we have to things such as processed sugars in the case of ice cream. Do you get a rush from going to bed on time? Sadly, no. We need to reinforce ourselves as we build our positive habits, because it does not come naturally. 

Another obstacle is something I call "the habit of failure." The habit of failure sounds like this: "I can start tomorrow. I deserve a break. I know I won't finish it, why start? Why be hard on myself? I am too stressed, and I am too busy. I don't have time. It's a holiday." The habit of failure is a repetitive mental chatter that is "getting us off the hook" of our higher ideals on a very regular basis. The thoughts that hold us back sound very reasonable, they sound fun, and even kind. We might even say, "I am practicing self acceptance." Or, "I am a free spirit." Sounds good, right? 

If we are not free to add healthy habits to our routine, is that really freedom? A habit of failure tells us that we can not trust ourselves. We say one thing, and we do another. We treat ourselves in a way that is two-faced. It's no fun at all to be treated like that. 

You can replace a habit of failure with a habit of success. 

One reason that we do not acquire positive habits is simply that we do not know how to do it. With a habit of success, one good habit will lead to many. 

In brief, what you are going to do is: start with something so small that you are absolutely sure you will succeed; get help from a professional coach or a friend; plan carefully; give yourself credit for your successes; learn from your mistakes and move on. 

1. Start with something so small that you are absolutely sure you will succeed. 

There is not going to be any compromise, so take this very seriously. For example, you might have a goal of exercising 20 minutes every day. Ask yourself if you will really follow through on this commitment. If the answer is "yes," commit to 10 minutes instead. If the answer is "I'm not sure," make it 5 minutes, or 2 minutes. Make it ridiculously easy. 

Don't worry, it will still be hard when the "habit of failure" voices start up. You are not going to listen to them this time.

2. Get help from a professional coach or a friend.

Consult with someone when you make your plan. Then, ask that person to hold you accountable on a daily basis. For example, I just completed a commitment to do a Wonder Woman pose for two minutes every day for forty days. I consulted with my friend Debz before I started. I chose a special emoji, and told her I was going to send her that emoji every day to show her that I had done my practice. I asked her to respond to celebrate my success with me. 

In my professional coaching practice, I offer 1 time, 1 hour consultations to establish a success plan. And I currently provide accountability at no additional charge. 

3. Plan carefully. 

Get out your calendar. It takes about 40 days to form a positive habit. You can beat your habit of failure with some careful planning. What is coming up in the next 40 days? A vacation? A birthday? Your spouse's evaluation at work, or something else that makes them cranky? Which days are going to be difficult. Based on your assessment of these days, do you need to return to #1 and make it smaller? On the most difficult day, what can you commit to?

Are there any days that you will absolutely have to take off? Plan those out ahead of time, and extend your practice to 41, 42, 43 days. 

Plan a regular time and place for your practice. Think about the flow of your day. When can you practice without interrupting anyone in your household? Hot tip: I did my Wonder Woman practice in the bathroom while my shower was heating up. People in my home are already accustomed to my habit of bathing. Adding another habit onto that one did not bother anyone. 

Are there days when you will have to practice in another place? Visualize yourself doing your practice there. Will it work? 

4. Give yourself credit for your successes. 

We get emotional about our bad habits and our failures. For that reason, our minds register them. But a lot of us shrug off or ignore our successes. Force yourself to celebrate. You need to make your successes a positive emotional experience. Look in the mirror and tell yourself "you rock!" Give your mirror image a high-five. It is very important to consciously acknowledge that you are doing something positive. 

5. Learn from your mistakes.

Don't let any failure go by without learning something from it. Be firm. Be kind. Did you commit to too much time? Did you overlook a challenging day when you were planning? 

Be very specific in working out how you will take this failure and turn it into a success. Will you do two practice periods the next day? Will you add a day to the end of your 40 day period? Do you need to begin your forty days again from the beginning? Think it through, because your habit of failure is just waiting to say, "you didn't REALLY do what you set out to do," and you can not let this happen. 

6. Move on.

It is important to return to the practice, as scheduled, after making a mistake. You must succeed to make success a habit. That is the underlying purpose here. 

One good habit follows another. 

I have a friend who started with a morning Tai Chi practice. Once she knew how to establish a good habit, she thought about the other things she wanted in her life, and she created positive habits for creative writing, healthy eating, and meditation. 

Empower yourself! Build a habit of success! 

Start With a 2-Minute Meditation Practice

You can build your habit of success with a 2-minute meditation practice. I developed these meditation cards that systematically build a deep practice in just two minutes per day. Make a commitment to try them for 40 days. Call or email me to schedule a consultation, and we will get you started. 

CLICK HERE TO VIEW 2-MINUTE PRACTICE CARDS

Articulating a More Positive self-Identity. I like it. Here's why.

A Yoga Perspective

by Jennifer Rose & Better Existence | April 25, 2015

When I edited Articulating Strengths Together by Jerald Forster, my stepfather, the Yogini in me got very excited and interested in the practice of Strengths Articulation. So excited that I created a workshop that brought Dr. Forster and Swami Ma Sattvadevi together for a conversation about Strengths and Meditation in New York. 

That event was the beginning of a rich conversation between myself and my stepfather that is culminating in a new book that we are writing together. The book is about strengths articulation and identity. 

In a nutshell, strengths articulation is finding the best words to talk about what you like about yourself. This practice has a cumulative effect of improving positivity and positive self-regard. Well, it has for Professor Forster and myself, and we are currently welcoming case study participants, so email me if you are interested in seeing if this could work for you. 

How does this fit in with Yoga?

At it's heart, Yoga is about identity. The word Yoga can be translated as Yoke, and means yoking the individual consciousness to the Universal Consciousness. The central contemplative question of Yoga is Who am I? 

Simple question. But not easy to answer. For many Yogis, Universal Consciousness is a hypothetical notion. Contemplation and meditation are two methods of obtaining personal experience to test the hypothesis.

What makes meditation and contemplation difficult? One challenge is feeling overwhelmed by negative thoughts and feelings. Sometimes there is an idea that we cannot control our own mental negativity. We are at its mercy. Negativity in thoughts can translate into behaviors that either drown out negativity or act out negativity. Prone to habits, we get caught in a cycle of negative thoughts and actions. With a dash of shame thrown in. Spicy!

Feeling Good About Yourself Helps You Contemplate, Helps You Meditate, Helps You Do Yoga

A remedy for mental negativity that you might recognize if you are a studied Yogi yourself is: focusing on what is sattvic. "Sattvic" is an adjective that describes positive, uplifting attributes such as peacefulness, beauty, wisdom, clarity, and the like. Focusing a lot on these qualities in and around us may have a stabilizing effect. 

Strengths articulation is this kind of practice. It is a practice in giving our attention to positive feelings and positive ideas about who we are. Yes. It is okay to feel safe in your own brain, like you are likable, lovable, and admirable to yourself. You needn't tell the nay-sayers you are doing it. They might spit out insults like "narcissist," "ego-maniac" or if you are a Yogi, they might, sadly, accuse you of having "Ahamkara" issues. Who has time for this? 

Positive Self-Regard Is the Beginning

From a psychological point of view, I suppose healthy, positive self-regard and a positive mental environment is an end to itself. From a Yoga point of view, it is about mid-way on the journey of this "Who am I?" contemplation. Taking out our Kosha Map, we will be continuing to journey through intuitive intelligence, bliss, and finally arriving at our destination of Universal Consciousness, hypothetically. 

The benefits of reducing our burden of negativity, our fears, regrets, and anxieties are self-evident. Increasing our positivity, our acceptance, love, and joy sounds good. 

The experience of taking the reigns of one's thoughts, and transforming ones self-identity? To witness identity as a self-created malleable something; that is priceless. Through the simple and beneficial practice of strengths articulation you have this opportunity. Take it!

Meditation Workshop at Yoga NW in Portland, Oregon

2 Minutes to Meditate
A Workshop for Busy, Stressed-out People and You

by Jennifer Rose & Better Existence | April 6, 2015

Please join me on Saturday, May 9th from 1 to 3 PM.

I am going to give you the secrets to establishing a positive, daily practice. 

Yoga NW is located at 1901 NW 26th Avenue
Register for the workshop online by choosing Events at www.yoganwpdx.com

You've heard about the benefits of meditation. Maybe you've even told yourself you are going to give it a try. Maybe you've even read a book or two about meditation. You may even have purchased 2l-Minute Practice Cards. But you still aren't meditating. 

According to the Mayo Clinic the benefits of meditation include:

• Stress Reduction
• Improved Health
• Better Sleep
• Reduced Negative Emotions
• Increased Self-awareness

This workshop is for you, if you want to get these benefits from this simple, profound practice. 
This workshop is especially for you if your next thought is that you don't have time. Because you really can benefit from a 2-Minute practice. 

You will learn secrets for making your daily practice a success. (And then, you can apply those secrets to ANYTHING you want to accomplish in your life.) 

Come find out how easy it can be. 

I will teach you the skills that together produce a meditative state of consciousness.

• Posture
• Deep Breathing
• Breath Awareness
• Systematic Relaxation
• Mindfulness

I will answer your questions about meditation. 

This workshop is only $35. Register online or in person at Yoga NW. Or call them at 541-490-3607. Reserve your space today. 

Participants will have an opportunity to purchase 2-Minute Practice Cards at a significant discount from the online price. 

Jennifer Rose is a 500-hour certified yoga and meditation teacher through the Himalayan institute of Yoga Science and Philosophy. In New York, she taught at the Himalayan Institute, and founded the Yoga Co-op and the Clear Water Meditation Circle. She currently resides in Portland and hosts the monthly teleconference Conversations With Walking Yogi Nishit Patel.  

The Alternative to Failure and Success Lies Within YOU

Introspection Is Looking Within

by Jennifer Rose & Better Existence | March 30, 2015

The Journey

You close your eyes. You are in an unfamiliar room that is pitch black dark. You know there is a light switch somewhere. So, you place your hand on the wall and take small, reluctant steps. You are afraid you will stub your toe. Gingerly you are feeling your way, testing each inch of progress with your hands and feet before committing yourself. 

Suddenly, where you were hoping to feel the light switch, the wall gives way to empty space instead. There is a surge of feeling that could be fear or excitement. You have to choose between staying in the room and stepping into the passageway. Excitement wins out, and you turn the corner.

Having encountered no obstacles so far, your steps have become less cautious. After some time in the dark passage, you sense that your eyes are becoming more accustomed to the dark, or maybe some vague light is visible in the distance. Your confidence and excitement are growing together. 

That vague, distant light is becoming more certain, and you are picking up speed. You can see your way clear. You take your hand off the wall. Soon, the passageway opens to a field of lush green beyond which stands an abandoned castle. Having left fear behind, you are thrilling now to the adventure.

With a feeling of wonder you wind up a spiral staircase. At the top, a room that feels at once known and unknown welcomes you. You walk to a desk, and open the drawer. Scarves of color arise spontaneously from the drawer endlessly, and you feel the drawer as your heart. There is a moment that is perfect in its delight, beauty, and wonder, and you feel yourself smile in contentment. 

'Who has created this wonderful journey?' you ask yourself. 'It cannot be me,' you conclude. And you conclude, 'it cannot be anyone but me.'

The Coincidence: Wonder Within Becomes Wonder Without

Your eyes are open now, it is morning, and you are walking. But now you are walking in wonder, holding your own knowing, remembering your journey within. From the edge of your vision, a large bird swoops into view. Your eye follows it over the street where it crosses the path of an unknown woman who is walking with two coffee cups in her two hands. She wonders allowed to herself, and you see her eye begin to follow the bird, just as you had done, too. 

You sense a kindred spirit. You have both seen this bird. You call out to her. "What was that?"

"A hawk!" 

"It was a small one," speaking loudly across the city intersection.

"A small hawk, and it had a bird in its grip. A black one. It is an omen. I don't know of what."

"Hawks have great vision, and they are strong," you give her the fist that means power.

"Yes."

And by that time, your paths have crossed and this moment is giving way to another.

"Have a great day." 

"You too. Thank you for being a witness." 

"You are welcome." 

And what happens next happens with its own wonder, too. 

Better Existence

No matter what we do together, you and I, it will be in this spirit. 

If we do a Skype yoga class, I offer it in this spirit: that you have a journey to wonder and contentment that you can reveal to yourself, and I can support. 

If we do a Strengths-focused coaching series, we will witness together that two minds together, set to one goal, your goal, are exponentially empowered to stay the course and achieve the best result. 

If we undertake an introspective series of conversations, techniques, or journal writing, I will bring you time-tested pathways to follow to your heart. 

Or we can meditate. I will teach you how.

Your journey. Your modality. Your starting point. All I want is for you to be in wonder with yourself. There is no doubt of the wonder within you. For many people, I am a very good guide. Let's get started. 

646-831-2675

Jennifer Rose

Better Existence

I am inviting you to come in.

As You Think, So Shall You Become --Bruce Lee

"The Words You THINK Become the HOUSE you live in." 

--Nishit Patel 

Join me in conversation with the author of this title quote, Nishit Patel, the first Wednesday of every month. Tomorrow our topic will be Mantra Initiation: Mastering Your Second Birth. Subscribe for the monthly teleconference here: Better Existence Events 

by Jennifer Rose & Better Existence | February 3, 2015

You are what your deep, driving desire is. 
As your desire is, so is your will. 
As your will is, so is your deed. 
As your deed is, so is your destiny. --Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

Introspective people have a tendency to bring cautionary attention to our thinking. 

We are what we think. 
All that we are arises with our thoughts. 
With our thoughts we make the world. 
Speak or act with an impure mind 
And trouble will follow you 
As the wheel follows the ox that draws the cart.  --The Buddha, from The Dhamapada

When wisdom appears similar across different traditions, that really gets my attention. 

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. --Proverbs 4:23

There is a battle of two wolves inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth. Which wolf wins? The one you feed. --Cherokee Proverb

You can take their word for it, or you can find out for yourself. 

I guess I am the do-it-yourself kid. I want to run my own tests. I don't want to know it's true, want to experience this truth. I want to empower you to run your own tests, too. 

One concept in all of these quotations is that our thoughts have a creative effect. Mr. Patel is very concise and contrasts the subtle, interior "words you THINK" with a tangible, exterior "HOUSE."

What will you do with this wisdom?

When we set out to work on our "words" we are on in internal mission.

Meditation may be the most useful practice to empower a person who wants to change their thinking. Meditation introduces you to your interior life, of which your thoughts are a part. Many of the words we think are completely unconscious. And the "house" we find ourselves living in may seem alien, and not of our making. Meditation can make the unconscious conscious, and we can take responsibility not only for ourselves, but for our circumstances. (Read more about not being a victim of circumstances.) 

Meditation takes attention from the outside world and turns it inward. We become attuned to our bodies. And we benefit. We become more aware of how the food we eat affects us physically and mentally. We notice the effects of how much we sleep. We make better choices. 

People who meditate notice their emotions and the effects of emotions. They know how long they stay mad once they get started, for example. And there are glimmers of peace and joy that might otherwise have been missed. 

Meditators become more aware of their thoughts, the words they think. Then, they are ready to answer the question for themselves, Do the words I think build the house I live in? That is a question that is worthwhile to ask. If you could build a better house, would you build it? Next week I will give you a method. 

For now, let's get you started meditating. You can call me, 646-831-2675, or order my 2-Minutes to Meditate Cards on Etsy. These cards are beautiful and friendly. Their handmade, jewel-tone envelopes are a sacred space where you can keep your cards.

Especially good for beginners and experienced meditators who have lost track of their daily practice somewhere along the way, these cards provide support for your practice. In just two minutes a day you can lay a reliable foundation that you can build on.