Simple Practice, Profound Insight

Simple practices at the beginning of yoga instruction open the doors to a catalog of practices that reveal all the dimensions of being and consciousness. 

And then we return to the simple practices. Profoundly.

One such simple practice is breathing up and down the spine.

Simple Instructions for Spinal Breathing

Lie comfortably on your back with your spine aligned, or sit nice and tall.

Close your eyes.

Notice your breath.

Imagine that you can inhale from the tip of your tailbone to the top of your head, and exhale from the top of your head to your tailbone. 

Let your awareness trace the length of your spine, inhaling up, and exhaling down, sweeping the attention and the breath.

As you continue to practice, your breath will become smooth and deep. The pauses between your breaths will become imperceptible, and your breath will become quieter and quieter, until it becomes silent. 

Continue breathing up and down your spine until you find yourself becoming distracted. 

Over time, "imagining" the breath in the spine becomes "perceiving" energy flowing in the spine. 

And What Might Be Gained from Such a Simple Practice? Why Might a Person Commit to Doing Such a Thing on a Daily Basis?

No one says it better than Swami Rama. This quote comes from the book Inspired Thoughts of Swami Rama. Better Existence lifted it from the wonderful website www.swamij.com. 


The universe is a dance of energies that vibrate at many frequencies. They ebb and flow, merge and part, form ripples, tides, currents, eddies, and whirlpools. They become units of all sizes, from atoms to stars, from individual souls to cosmic beings, and again they dissolve into each other. As rays, streaks, streams, rivers, oceans of light, they flow into each other and separate again, changing frequencies--and in changing frequencies, they become suns, galaxies, spaces, airs, winds, fires, liquids, solids. They become the bodies of human beings into which the energy called consciousness comes and is embodied.

Of all the flowing energies in the universe, consciousness is the most dominant, the one from which all the others proceed and into which they all merge. The ancient texts are fond of the phrase, "from consciousness down to the solid earth," for all this is a single matrix, a tantra of energy, and within it are myriads of matrices, woven and interwoven. The human being is one such matrix of energies--ebbing, flowing, dancing at frequencies ranging from those of solid bones all the way to the subtlest waves of consciousness. Those who can understand this personality matrix will understand the whole universe.

Yup. Pretty much it is that simple.

Pretty much it is that profound. 

Call Better Existence.

Develop a personal practice that takes you to the next level.

One size does not fit all.

We are ready and waiting.

646-831-2675

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Personal Reflections on the Breath

Right now. Just one. Come on. Take a deep breath.

Exhale and gently squeeze a little of that stale air out of your lungs. Make extra room for fresh air deep in your lungs, then fill your lungs all the way up. Inhale into your lower belly, and all the way up to your shoulders. Notice how your body feels. Notice your emotional state. Notice your state of mind. One deep breath can change how you feel.

Personal Reflections on Nadi Shodhanam, Alternate Nostril Breathing

Our breath has many dimensions. From my first yoga class in 1995 I practiced nadi shodhanam, or breathing through alternate nostrils. My first yoga teacher, Yolanthe Smit, who taught in the Hoboken Farm Boy, was the first to teach me to close my right nostril with my right thumb and breathe through my left nostril, then to close my left nostril with the ring finger of my right hand and breathe through my right nostril. I did not see the point. It was part of the class, so I participated, of course.

Later, and still going to yoga classes, Nishit Patel gave the nostril business personal meaning. He explained that there is a cycle to our breathing. For about ninety minutes we breathe predominantly through one nostril, then that dominance shifts to the other side for about ninety minutes, and back and forth. When breath flows through the left nostril, he taught, energy is calm and receptive. It is a good time to read, for example. And when breath flows through the right nostril, that is a good time to exercise. He taught us to change our nostril dominance in Vishnu asana, lying on the side. Then, he delivered the goods: knowledge of nostril dominance can impact insomnia.

Sure enough. When I paid attention to which was my active nostril when I was annoyingly roused at night, it was always the right nostril. When I lay in Vishnu asana on my right side, my nostril dominance shifted to my left nostril, and sooner than later I was calmly sleeping. That is when I became very interested in the nostril business. Very interested in my breath.

Mr. Patel taught us one day, years ago, maybe 2004 or earlier, that we could learn to do alternate nostril breathing without the fingers, without flopping from side to side, just by focusing attention on the right and left nostrils. I just laughed. Belly laughed. I remember exactly where I was at that moment, laying on the floor of the peach room of the 5th Avenue Himalayan Institute with my chin on my arms. It struck me as very hilarious that anyone would be able to do this, or invest the time it would take to learn it, if it was in fact possible.

But it was sure an intriguing challenge. I tried it from time to time just to prove I still couldn't. Until, one day, quite out of the blue, I could. That was during Nishit's class. And for a long time that was the only condition under which I could do it. Then I could do it when I was teaching yoga, and that went on for a long time. But I was really hooked, actively engaged in mastering nadi shodhanam now, and I tried and failed an awful lot at doing this during my personal meditation practice time. And then one day, it just came. And I could do it infrequently. Then more regularly. Then I could do it if I paused to focus my attention at a diner.

But it wasn't until today that I realized that I could do it walking along. Dr Renu Kapoor of the Personality Blog on Facebook posted about the practice this morning as follows:

If the student practices nadi shodanam, or channel purification (one of the finest pranayama excercise) for five to ten minutes, three times a day, his emotional life will become balanced and his nervous system will be purified. It is an excellent exercise for those who have had traumatic experiences or who have misused medications or drugs in the past.
H.H.Swami Rama- Choosing a Path.

So, I was wondering to myself as I was walking through the woods of Forest Park here in Northwest Portland, shall I commit myself to three times a day? And I challenged myself to do the practice walking.

Wow.

I could.

And my perceptual field altered delightfully. Delightfully! Before I started practicing I had been aware that a bird was chirping nearby. Surprisingly, focusing on my nostrils alternately, the humor of which is still not lost on me, I was instantaneously aware of the other bird, the one with whom the nearby bird was communicating, and the third bird, further away still, and the pattern of their talk.

And then, this coincidence occurred. A person came walking his dog and said, "You are looking at my favorite tree."

I wasn't. But I am unlikely to turn down an opportunity to meet a favorite tree. The dog walker said, "You have to look at it from here, and you will see that it looks completely flat." I looked, and sure enough. It looked flat. "Isn't that amazing," he said. "It is like a fairy book. Like a portal to another dimension, like the CS Lewis book with the wardrobe."

So there we were, left and right, sound and vision, flat and multidimensional, referencing fairy realms, then parting ways.

Nadi Shodhanam. That nostril business. They say that when the breath is balanced evenly between the two nostrils we are standing at an opening portal to joy.


Jennifer Rose
jelyrose@gmail.com

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Plummet Your Own Depths to Ease Feelings of Loneliness

Four Foundational Questions for Introspection

The practice of the kind of introspection called vichara in Sanskrit, is the practice of asking oneself, "Who am I?" This huge question can be broken into 4 foundational questions that lead to transformational insights.

Question 1     Am I my body?

Question 2     Am I my breath or my energy?

Question 3     Am I my mind?

Question 4     Do I exist beyond my mind?

I created this illustration of these four questions to inspire you on your vichara journey. This way of outlining the body, breath, and mind is ubiquitous among my teachers, all students of the late Swami Rama.

In addition, there are many ancient stories that accompany, support, or encourage these reflections. Here is an example:

Questions for Vichara Introspection

Once upon a time, the senses were engaged in an epic debate about which of them was the most important. The breath was also engaged along with the sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smelling. In order to resolve their dispute, they decided that one by one the senses would leave the body and by this means they would determine which sense had the greatest impact.

First the sense of smell left. When smell returned, it was agreed that existence was less enjoyable without that sense. Smell was glad about being missed, and anticipated winning the debate. 

Then, the sense of taste left. And, as with smell, when taste returned, it was acknowledged that existence was less agreeable without good taste. Taste too anticipated winning the debate. 

Similarly, the senses of touch, hearing, and sight took their turns. One by one they departed, and one by one, they returned. Each sense was missed while they were away. 

Finally, it was the breath's turn. Breath was at the moment of departure, just about to leave, stepping one foot out of the door... Then all at once the five senses together were overcome with an irrepressible need to cry out, "Don't go!" 

The senses were relieved when breath agreed to stay. And to this day, no one has since heard the senses debating.  

Vichara is the pursuit of the true nature of the "I." If this strikes you as overly esoteric, consider some of the common complaints that can be eased by the practice:

• feelings of victimhood
• feelings of isolation and loneliness
• feeling overwhelmed 
• feeling purposeless

Of course, it does help to have a teacher with whom to place the insights that come from the practice in a meaningful context. 

It does help to have a teacher with whom to tease the questions into finer threads of inquiry at the right time. 

It does help to have a teacher who knows 100+ practices that support the inquiries. 

It does help to have a teacher. 

I am here for that!

Jennifer Rose

646-831-2675

jelyrose@gmail.com

No!-Mind, Christopher Isherwood, and Support for Your Best Intentions

Minds Say, "No!" They Just Do

You have probably heard of the Buddhists' "No-mind." Let me introduce you to its counterpart No!-mind. No!-mind was referenced in the previous blog post as a part of the mind that undermines our best intentions.

No!-mind can be very frustrating as long as it remains mysterious. A lot of my work with clients centers on revealing the machinations of No!-mind.

Minds Are Like Toddlers

Think of a toddler going through that stage of development where the answer to everything is "No!" What happens to the habit of mind that is developed at that time? Does it remain lurking somewhere inside?

Minds Say No! In Many Ways

No!-mind wears many costumes. It may say, "I don't deserve it," "I am bored by it," "It is too hard for me," "I am too busy," "I have already done that," "I can't," "I am not lucky that way," "That is unworthy of me," "That is disgusting," "Someone already took mine," "I cannot...," "I am not good at..." There are so many ways to say, "No."

Oddly, Saying No! Is Foundational to Experiencing Mind At All. Egad

And what of this Buddhist No-mind? If No-mind is the truth, what is this thing I am calling my mind? The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali identify No!-mind as foundational to experiencing oneself as having a separate mind.

"I say 'No!' therefore I am." It is very reassuring in a way. No! NO! NO!!! Can you feel the wonder of it? That feeling of pushing-away is actually, in part, creating the feeling that mind exists.

If you look for it, you may find a little No!-mind in almost every thought-process you experience.

You Can Learn Skills And Master No!-mind

So, if, in fact, No!-mind is an essential element of our individual human identity, it makes a whole lot of sense to do work on our goals with support.

I can help you identify the myriad costume changes that No!-mind undertakes as you struggle toward your goal.

Employing No-mind in the mastery of No!-mind is another skill that I can teach you.

Christopher Isherwood on No!-Mind... Because, Christopher Isherwood.

Christopher Isherwood co-wrote with Swami Prabhavananda a commentary on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. In the commentary, the experience, roughly speaking, of an individual mind is called ignorance. That's kind of harsh. Oh well. It turns out wonderfully in the end, so let's hang in there.

Here is Isherwood and Prabhavananda's translation of Yoga Sutra 2.3

These obstacles--the causes of man's suffering--are ignorance, egoism, attachment, aversion, and the desire to cling to life. 

Isherwood and Prabhavananda here use the word aversion the way I am using No!-mind. In Sanskrit, the word is dvesha.

The constant, necessary presence of No!-mind in the fabrication of our human individuality makes it, let us say, amusing, to undertake positive, transformative change. Again, I point to the good sense it makes to have support, and I enthusiastically make myself available for this.

In Yoga Sutra 2.8, Patanjali defines dvesha. Isherwood and Prabhavananda translate:

Aversion is that which dwells on pain.

Their commentary states:

Aversion is also a form of bondage. We are tied to what we hate or fear. That is why, in our lives, the same problem, the same danger or difficulty, will present itself over and over again in various aspects, as long as we continue to resist or run way from it instead of examining and solving it. 

No!-mind Accompanies Positive Change

I add that there is a little bit of hate and fear involved in every effort we make to achieve a positive goal. When one part of the mind becomes the authority that says, "You would be better off doing X," No!-mind is there to assert that we are just f@*!ing fine as we are, thank you very much.

I Am Here To Help You Make Your Wishes Into Realities

Don't let No!-mind dominate your better angels. Call me, and I will teach you the skills that will allow you to get 'er done. Check, check, check, right down your 'to do list." Will be a hoot, too.

Turn your "to-do" list into your "ta-dah!" list. Oh. I am on a roll.

jelyrose@gmail.com / 646-831-2675

Three Things That Undermine Our Best Intentions

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

• You know what would be good for you. (Doesn't matter what: exercise three times per week, eat less sugar, meditate daily, improve your relationship, keep the house cleaner, get a job or a better job, get out there and date, go back to school, finish that project...)
• You make up your mind to do it.
• You don't do it. 

Even a simple goal such as getting out of bed earlier can elude us. 

I know why people fail. 

Here is a countdown of three of the top reasons people fail to achieve their goals, and how I can help:

3. People expect doing good to feel good. When it doesn't feel good, they quit.

Consciously or unconsciously we expect a reward for good behavior. 

No one expects what actually happens. When we undertake a positive change a whole barrage of stuff happens that does not feel good at all. Our minds get mad at us for making a change. Yes! The same mind that came up with this healthy, new life plan gets to work to undermine it. Thinking up a good idea is one thing, carrying out that plan is very different. 

Add to that, when we manage to sustain a positive change over time it creates an opportunity for negativity to be released. Yes! Crusty old habits and thoughts come knocking, and it is actually because we are doing something good; it is actually a good, good sign. People misinterpret this as failure... and give up.

I will align your expectations with reality, and you will achieve your goal.

2. Failure has become a habit.

Have you ever encouraged yourself to make a positive change and not followed through on that? How many times? 

No matter what you want to change, you need to break the failure habit and create a habit of success. 

I can help you make success a habit no matter what wish or goal we work on together. 

1. You are trying to do it alone. 

The number one reason that people fail to achieve their goals is because they go it alone.

Among my clients, the average amount of time that they have been working on their goal by themselves is ten years. Finally, after ten years, they get fed up with the repeated failures that come from doing it the same way, a way that does not work, again and again. 

With professional support, those clients achieve their goals quickly. I am absolutely serious when I say that people accomplish in months, or even weeks what they have not been able to do in YEARS. 

Don't wait ten years. You can have what you want. I know how to make that happen.

Email jelyrose@gmail.com or call 646-831-2675 to schedule an appointment. 

Time to Lighten Up

Morty the Bulb:

An Allegory of Illumination

by Jennifer Rose

On the day that Sara Kunkle brought home that box of light bulbs, she had no idea that she had purchased the brightest bulb in the box. It was a completely ordinary shopping experience. In addition to the box of bulbs, Sara had picked up a mother lode of toilet paper and a vat of sweet baby gherkins. She was a bulk shopper.

Morty, the brightest bulb in the box, was an incandescent 60W bulb. Because Sara was a bulk shopper, Morty sat in his box, in a closet, for years, knowing nothing. Because Morty was incandescent, he sat there so long he came close to being obsolete. One by one Sara took the other bulbs from the box and put them to use. Finally one night, she took out Morty.

Sara put up a ladder in the bedroom of her apartment, climbed up to the second highest step, unscrewed the burnt out light bulb, and screwed in Morty with six competent turns, Screep, screep screep, screep, screep, screep.

Sara climbed down the ladder, folded it up, and put it away neatly in the utility closet by the kitchen. When she came back to the bedroom, she put her hand on the light switch, and flipped it to ON.

WOW!

A thrill shot through Morty’s entire being. And what is that? And what is that? And what is that? Morty saw the bed, the desk, and the cat.

“This is stupendous!” Morty thought. “This is amazing!”

“A chair! A dresser! A pillow! A nightgown!”

“Holy freaking cow!” Morty thought. “Look at all this stuff, will ya!”

Then Sara flipped the switch to OFF, and “zzzup,” Morty went dark.

Later that night, when Sara was getting ready for bed, Morty was ON and fathoming the details of the bedclothes, their colors and textures, the oceanic blue-green comforter, the damask throw, white ruffles on the pillowcases, the sateen sheen of the sheets. Then he noticed Sara Kunkle. She did not hold still. She was like the cat, Belshazzar, who fussed and flicked and licked.  

“Similar, but not the same. Sublime!” Morty thought. “The rich variety of existence!” And then he was OFF.

Time went by like this. Morty marveled at the details of his existence whenever he was ON: the lace of Sara’s nightgown, the grain of the floorboards, the comings and goings of the cat.

The cat was perplexing. How could it be that one moment Morty’s existence had the element of cat, and the next moment it did not? Morty found himself wishing the cat could be still, could be either in or out.

As he thought more about it, for that matter, Morty wished Sara would not move the objects of existence here and there. Her fluffings and rufflings of the bedclothes made Morty vaguely nauseous. It felt as if he himself were being fluffed and ruffled. He felt cheapened by her disregard for the places things were supposed to be, the places they had been the first moment he was ON. Obviously the wastebasket belonged next to the desk and not next to the bed.

“Why doesn’t she care about what is right? Why doesn’t she think it matters whether my wastebasket is here or there?” Morty wondered. The wastebasket, like the cat, moved in and out of Morty’s existence. Sara put bits and scraps into the wastebasket, and the wastebasket disappeared. When it came back the wastebasket would be empty. Unsettling.

One day Sara was standing in front of her mirror brushing her brown hair with the brush that was supposed to be on the dresser. Morty had noticed the mirror before, but today he focused on a luminescent orb looking over Sara’s shoulder, and he recognized himself.

“What the what?!” Morty thought. “What the who, the how, the what?!” Morty thought. “I do not like the looks of that. I do not like the looks of that at all. God. That small, insignificant, fragile, glassy… Ew.” He couldn’t turn his attention from his reflection.

Before long, Morty’s thoughts turned. “That is me! I am the best! I am the brightest! I feel so WOW about ME!”

That night was the very first time a light bulb ever experienced mirror self-recognition. Morty was right to feel proud of himself. It was almost unbelievable.

That was also the night that Morty noticed the light switch with its ON and OFF.

Now, when he was ON, Morty fixated on that switch. He noticed certain correlations. He related ON with the hairbrush, the cat, and the rest of existence.  He related OFF with, with, with…

“Oh my God!” Morty thought. “What the hell is OFF? WHAT THE HELL IS OFF?!?! He noticed that ON was always, at first, attended by Sara’s proximity to the switch.

The Sara Kunkle suddenly seemed very different from the cat. Morty hoped he had not offended The Sara Kunkle by associating her with the cat, who was clearly a buffoon, an ass-licking beggar. Who did the cat beg to? The Sara Kunkle.

“Why hadn’t I noticed this?”

The Sara Kunkle suddenly seemed so beautiful, the one thing in the existence that stirred deep yearnings in Morty.

“I’m an idiot,” Morty thought. “Clearly she is endowed with magical powers beyond all comprehension. Probably she hates me now. I am loathsome. I am small. What if she decides not to turn the switch ON?!”

Morty had a lot of intense feelings about this possibility. When he was ON he spent a lot of time focusing on The Sara Kunkle, trying to understand her moods and motivations. He wanted to please her. Desperately.

Morty hummed—the language of bulbs--prayers to the All Powerful, The Sara Kunkle.

Despite Morty’s love of her, despite his prayers and devotions, The Sara Kunkle delivered a humiliating, a devastating blow to Morty, that punished him and filled him with a sense of profound, powerless humiliation.

She turned another bulb ON.

Morty’s existence was halved in an instant. He was comingled. Demeaned. By a bedside lamp.

“Fie on thee, Sara Kunkle,” Morty thought. Then felt guilty and ashamed.

Morty wondered how often this bedside bulb was ON when he was OFF. His thoughts took an ugly, murderous turn. He schemed to outwit the bedside bulb and be alone again with The Sara Kunkle.

In his humming, bulb language, Morty asked the bedside bulb his name, as if to befriend him.

“James,” the bedside bulb replied.

Then, unimaginably, things got exponentially worse.

The bathroom bulb overheard Morty and James, and butted in incomprehensibly.

“What the what?!” Morty thought. “Where did that come from? I was just getting used to this bedside bulb, and now… then Morty went OFF.”

The next time Morty was ON, James was OFF. Morty began to observe this state called OFF, and he did not like it at all. It was not for him: dark, passive, nothing…. Meaningless.

Morty recalled the foreign sounding voice.

“Is anybody out there?” Morty asked.

He heard the squeaky bzzzzzhhhhreeee that seemed to emanate from beyond all existence.

“Dude. Are you even a bulb? What’s the deal with you?” Morty called out.

“Forty watter,” the squeaky voice said, in a foreign sounding accent.

“Okay. Okay. I get it,” Morty said.

“What’s it like in there?” the bathroom bulb asked.

“What do you mean “there?” Morty wanted to know.

“Well, Mate, I am here, and you therefore are ‘there.’

Morty was sorry he had engaged with this idiot, self-centered bulb.

Still, he slowly, laboriously began explaining existence, the only obvious thing, to the idiot foreigner. “Well, the most important thing is obviously the bed, and it must have ruffles, mustn’t it? Ruffles are very meaningful. Then, of course there has to be a desk. Does your desk have a drawer? Well, it must, mustn’t it? Because desks do.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You seem very strange. I do not think I like you,” the bathroom bulb said.

“Well, I know I don’t like you,” Morty said. “Aren’t you in the room? Why are you so stupid?” Morty asked.

“No, you presumptuous turd,” the bathroom bulb squeaked, “I am in A room, not THE room. Jesus Christ.”

“My name’s Morty,” Morty said.

“I’m Tad.”

OFF.

They didn’t get off to the greatest start.

But they didn’t give up. Isn’t that grand? James and Morty bonded first, forming an alliance against Tad. At times when they were all ON Morty and James slammed Tad with fact after fact that proved he did not exist.

“The biggest thing is the BED. Floors are made of WOOD. There is very little WATER, and it is in a drinking glass. Idiot.”

Eventually they learned more from Tad about the room called Bath, and it started to sink in that existence might be multi-roomed. For all they knew there could be still other rooms as foreign and strange as the tiled and porcelain room called Bath.

Later, as friends, they imagined strange rooms where water flowed over beds, and cats made flushing sounds.

“What if…”

After pounding out their differences, they discovered they also shared similarities. They all worshipped The Sara Kunkle, and they all associated her with ON. Whenever ON happened, The Sara Kunkle was near.

“But what about OFF?” Morty asked the other bulbs one day. “Isn’t The Sara Kunkle always there when ON ends, too? What the hell is OFF?”

When the bulbs realized The Sara Kunkle had the power of OFF as well as the power of ON, they began to fear and despise her--and love and adore and appease her--in turns.

It depressed Morty to ponder The Sara Kunkle’s dark powers. “It seems so random. ON. OFF. ON. OFF. What is it that moves her?”

Morty lamented to the other bulbs one day, “Why should I adore The Sara Kunkle when she is so cruel? Who would dream up such horrors? She has the ultimate power. Why doesn’t she use them for good? Why doesn’t she just leave me ON? What does she do when I am OFF? WHERE DOES THE CAT GO? To where? What is the point?”

It got worse.

Up to now, Morty had only been ON at night. The night The Sara Kunkle fell asleep reading War and Peace, Morty saw the sun rise.

“I am blinded!”

Morty tortured himself with thoughts of the great bulb that sometimes shined in through the bedroom window, that light by which his own shine seemed completely snuffed out, irrelevant.

ON.

“Why me? What is out there? Who am I? What good is this life? What is the terror in that condition called OFF? Why doesn’t anyone care?”

OFF.

ON. “This is killing me. Why does The Sara Kunkle torture me? What is the point? Where is the cat? Why doesn’t someone smooth the duvet? OFF.

ON. “That light. Aaack. It blinds me.” OFF.

It got worse.

Morty happened to be ON the night that James burned out. James had just been complaining of strange vibrations in his glow chamber. Suddenly he was OFF.

Morty watched The Sara Kunkle flip James’s switch. ON OFF ON OFF… nothing happened.

Morty thought The Sara Kunkle was going to help James when she reached over the top of the lampshade, and screep, screep, screep, screep, screep, screep. On the contrary, James was unwound. By The Sara Kunkle.

Even worse, James was revealed. Morty saw James’s screw cap. Morty did not know that bulbs had screw caps. He thought he was pretty and glassy and round. What was this shameful, metallic stump? Hideous.

It got worse.

 Screep, screep, screep, screep, screep, screep. The Sara Kunkle wound in a new bulb that gave off a strange, unsettling light.

Then, worse than worst, The Sara Kunkle put James in the place where there are empty, gooey tubes, sticky bits of plastic, and used wads of tissue with boogers on them. The Sara Kunkle put James with boogers. With boogers! The Sara Kunkle put James in the place that comes back empty.

“Noooooooo.” OFF.

ON. Morty was completely absorbed in his fear of being tossed out with the boogers. OFF.

ON. OFF. ON. OFF. ON. OFF.

Morty withdrew completely from the events of the room. The cat came and went. The Sara Kunkle read or did not. The great light beyond the window was there, or it was not. Morty did not care.

ON. OFF. ON. OFF. ON. OFF.

Months went by.

The dzzzt that preceded ON had once been Morty’s favorite feeling. Now it aroused only loathing. 

“Turn me OFF! Just turn me OFF.” All he knew was dzzzt and regret. He did not wish to be reminded of his filaments. He obsessed that being ON was shortening his life, though he had no taste for living.

He loathed the dzzzt, as he now understood that he was feeling it in his screw cap, his stump of shame. It reminded him that like James, he was inglorious, finite.

Hating the dzzzt drew more and more of Morty’s attention until--secretly--Morty’s metallic core of embarrassment started to deliver a whisper of thrill.

With more attention, the dzzzt, the thrill, became more certain. With a lot of focused attention, Morty learned to feel the thrill rise up his metallic stump and into his central glow chamber. And he came to look forward to ON again, not to the objects of existence, but to his experience.

“I do not care about the cat.”

One day, Morty felt the river of current at his base so clear and so sure, that he let himself get carried away.

“What is this? I am riding along!” Morty felt gleeful as he slipped above the ceiling, riding the wire like a kid on a log ride.

Morty rushed to the bathroom, in and through Tad, and out again. In the living room he flowed through two strange bulbs, like the new one in the bedside lamp.

“Was I never a bulb?”

Morty saw the cat curled up on the couch.

“So that is where it goes.”

Morty saw The Sara Kunkle sitting next to the cat.

“She sits here when I am OFF.”

In the kitchen, Morty flowed through the toaster before he left the apartment, explored the building, and soared into endless new possibilities. He flowed through porch lights, streetlights, and stadium lights.

“There is nothing but wonder!”

When he had enough, Morty flowed back home to the bulb in Sara’s bedroom, and waited for ON.

ON. “I’m back everybody! I’m here! I’m home!”

Morty saw the cat. “A delightful creature. A pleasure. A gem. The finest of the fine. The utmost pussy cat.”

Morty saw Sara. “A wonderful woman. A pleasure, a peach. Nowhere can a better girl be found. I know. For I have seen them all.” He hadn’t of course.

Morty saw the bed, and the desk, and the chair, and the floor. He appreciated them all. And when Sara turned on the bedside lamp, with its strange, new, exotic bulb, Morty introduced himself.

“My name’s Morty, and I know my light seems a little strange. Over the years, I have become old-fashioned.”

One day, Morty told the bedside bulb about old James. And when Morty felt his filaments vibrate strangely, when Morty knew he was getting old, he told the story of his fantastic ride. He did not want his new friend to be frightened if Sara put Morty in the bin with the boogers.

On the day that Morty sensed the end of his ON, in the moment that he saw Sara reach out her hand for the switch for the very last time, Morty focused with all his might on his dzzzt and whispered courage to himself:

“Morty, Old Bulb, this is only the beginning.”

OFF.

copyright Jennifer Rose, May, 2014

Daily-ness Supports Change

Among meditators, daily-ness is much touted.

The rationale for daily-ness can be applied to any effort to transform our behavior or thinking.

Let's have a look at that rationale, and see how it applies to self-transformation in general.

First, humans are creatures of habit. It's our autopilot feature which allows us to drive cars and perform other complex tasks. It allows us a breadth of behavior that transcends our animal instincts. Being creatures of habit is not all bad. There are downsides to our habit-nature, true, but there are also ways to leverage those tendencies for our own good.

Second, the mind is naturally rebellious. The mind can be very wily in finding ways to return us to our old behavior and thought grooves. The fact that we find change difficult is an invitation to compassion and self-acceptance. You are right! This IS hard.

Third, the human mind is conditioned by time and space. When the mind goes, in other words, time and space go too. When time and space go, mind goes too. We can use time and space as a short-cut past the mind's wily rebellions. If you are following the clock, you cut out the negotiations with the mind about whether or not to engage in a new, positive activity.

Fourth, the world around us is in a constant state of flux. One minute, the world is great; we are getting everything we want. The next minute we suffer a staggering loss. Practicing may seem superfluous when we are happy. Daily-ness protects us when things take a turn for the worse. Then, we can say to ourselves, "Indeed, I am under pressure now. My boss is threatening to fire me. My partner is leaving me. But tomorrow morning at 8, I know where I will be. I will be doing my practice. And that will be good."

Daily practice benefits us as we do it, yes, and it also benefits us as we anticipate it. It benefits us again as we recall and reflect on it.

So, on that wonderful day when your rational mind pipes up with some insight such as, "This negativity, this fear, pessimism, loneliness, anger, self-loathing, or hopelessness is getting me nowhere," support that insight with a daily practice to combat the negativity of your own mind.

Contact me at jelyrose@gmail.com for support establishing a daily practice such as working on a strengths-focused identity LOG, or establishing a daily meditation practice, or contact me to co-create a positive practice for your specific goal.

Support is essential. The habits that enhance our well-being, such as keeping the mind positive, require us to view ourselves rationally rather than habitually, or emotionally. We must also become keen observers of the subtler, and the more long-range rewards of our efforts. I provide a rational, observing perspective, and my clients internalize them, quickly in many cases. You will be amazed at what you can do!

Tips for establishing a daily practice:

1. Practice at a regular time. 
2. Practice in a regular place.
3. Commit to two minutes. Two minutes is enough time to transform you, and you will not believe yourself when you hear your mind say, "I am too busy." If you go over two minutes that is fine. 
4. Pay close attention to the effects of your practice. 

Unlike an unhealthy habit which drags all the other aspects of your life down with it, this tiny commitment will lift all the other aspects of your life up. 

jelyrose@gmail.com