Ever Had One of THOSE Days?
By Jennifer Rose | August 14, 2014
Sometimes it happens.
Between my publishing deadlines and my husband's social work, one of us gets irritable. Then cupboard doors start getting closed quite decisively. Or one of us flashes a crinkle brow. It's true. We get cranky.
When it's K who gets cranky, I do this walking on eggshells thing, at least inside my head. It's like a cranky contagion has entered the apartment. Me in my hazmat suit, making a big deal. K is pretty cool with my cranky side. I read somewhere a long time ago that men are better at compartmentalizing that kind of stuff. He's really nice, actually.
Practicing Together
The other night I was pouting in my hazmat suit when it was time for us to do our 2-minute practice. It occurred to me that we might not practice on this night because of the stink mood in the villa. You know, making a big deal, as I said. But I decided not to allow that thought to determine my action.
I heroically unzipped my hazmat suit and said in my normalest voice: "It's time to breathe." And he pleasantly joined me in the crocodile pose.
I set my iPhone timer to 2 minutes.
We breathed.
The phone chimed after two minutes.
Something to Feel Proud of
Then we exchanged some marveling and congratulatory phrases, as we commonly do after we practice:
"We did it again!"
"It goes by so fast."
"We are doing really great."
"I feel so different."
"That's amazing."
I got a friendly pat. I put away the hazmat outfit. It's not comfortable. It's not flattering.
Life as Laboratory
A few months ago K and I made a contract with each other to practice crocodile breathing for 2 minutes each night for three months. We read on the Mayo Clinic website that vagus nerve stimulation has effects we are interested in. I know diaphragmatic breathing massages the vagus nerve. Okay, it's not an electric implant... maybe that's a good thing.
K and I missed a night of practice about three weeks ago, so we started over from the beginning. We are making a fun experiment. Being "science-y."
I love sharing this time with my husband. We reconnect around something positive and inquisitive every day. I look forward to it, and I fondly reflect on it.
When One Partner Practices
It isn't necessary for both partners to practice to have an impact on a relationship.
My dear friend committed herself to a daily Tai Chi practice. She had wanted to start a daily practice for a long time, and she consulted with me to understand why the practice wasn't sticking. (I am good at this.) After consulting with me, she has been practicing daily for months. We only talked about it once!
I texted her this morning to inquire whether she had noticed any effects of her practice on her relationship. I got a wonderful reply:
"The self respect and care of my body shows in how I communicate with S. I can tell that with more love and patience with myself, I give this to S."
2-Minute Practices
Much of the magic of these practices is in their dailyness. It does not take a lot of time. I chose 2 minutes because it is a number the mind accepts. Everyone has two minutes.
You choose a practice that is meaningful to you. You don't need cards to be part of the 2-Minute Revolution. Your commitment to practice is your enrollment. Practice. Encourage others to practice. We can change the global conversation by being "the change we want to see in the world." Imagine meeting at the water cooler to talk about what positive effects you are noticing from your practice.
Join the revolution. Start today.
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