Giving importance to how you feel will naturally result in your making better choices. In the long run, it can guide you from the roller coaster of short-lived pleasures to a reliable feeling of well-being that is independent of external circumstances.
How You Feel Matters
Consider the following example. Ray has nightmares when he watches horror movies. He enjoys joining his friends in something they like. He even enjoys the attention he gets as his friends rib him about being afraid. However, his pleasures are shallow and short-lived compared to the price he pays in nightmares. After Ray watches a horror movie, the images from the movie tend to revisit Ray, and make him uncomfortable for days. His negative feelings are more keenly felt, and last much longer than his positive feelings. Giving real importance to how he feels would guide Ray to say no to horror movies. Until he gives importance to how he feels, he will continue to make his choices based on what other people think, feel, and do, as well as on his habit patterns, and on short-term pleasurable feelings.
In the language of Yoga Meditation, saying no to watching a horror movie would be a satvic choice for Ray. Satvic choices result in peaceful or uplifted feelings. Satvic choices are informed by our innate knowledge of what is right and wrong for us. Strengths-focused coaching helps clients make choices that pay off in good feelings that are reliable and lasting.
In the language of Yoga Meditation, saying no to watching a horror movie would be a satvic choice for Ray. Satvic choices result in peaceful or uplifted feelings. Satvic choices are informed by our innate knowledge of what is right and wrong for us. Strengths-focused coaching helps clients make choices that pay off in good feelings that are reliable and lasting.
Noticing When Your Mood Lifts
At Ray's house, every one over the age of 13 cooks dinner for the family one night per week. Ray enjoys cooking. He is really good at combining flavors, and can improve on many recipes. Of all the people in his family, Ray is the one who likes cooking the most. He has always been the best at it, and every year, since he was 13, he has been improving. When he is cooking, Ray feels happy.
Being an average and ordinary person, however, Ray does not give a lot of importance to the uptick in his mood. Sure, he likes to feel good. But like most people, he assigns greater significance to feelings that he associates with problems. On a day when he enjoys cooking, he might still end the day focused on a disappointing grade at school, or a conflict with a peer. Strengths-focused coaching helps clients shift their attention to what is going well. Paying more attention to our positive experiences pays exponential dividends in our sense of well being. It gives us the courage of our convictions, and helps us present ourselves to others in a confident, positive way.
A strengths-focused coach would support Ray in valuing his positive experiences with cooking. Maybe Ray would contribute an amazing dip to the next horror movie night, but skip the movie. After he gave importance to how he feels, it would be difficult to persuade Ray that he was making the wrong choices.
At Ray's house, every one over the age of 13 cooks dinner for the family one night per week. Ray enjoys cooking. He is really good at combining flavors, and can improve on many recipes. Of all the people in his family, Ray is the one who likes cooking the most. He has always been the best at it, and every year, since he was 13, he has been improving. When he is cooking, Ray feels happy.
Being an average and ordinary person, however, Ray does not give a lot of importance to the uptick in his mood. Sure, he likes to feel good. But like most people, he assigns greater significance to feelings that he associates with problems. On a day when he enjoys cooking, he might still end the day focused on a disappointing grade at school, or a conflict with a peer. Strengths-focused coaching helps clients shift their attention to what is going well. Paying more attention to our positive experiences pays exponential dividends in our sense of well being. It gives us the courage of our convictions, and helps us present ourselves to others in a confident, positive way.
A strengths-focused coach would support Ray in valuing his positive experiences with cooking. Maybe Ray would contribute an amazing dip to the next horror movie night, but skip the movie. After he gave importance to how he feels, it would be difficult to persuade Ray that he was making the wrong choices.
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