I have had some pretty high minded ideas throughout my life, as I imagine you have, too. I wanted to win a Nobel Peace Prize when I was about 8, because, well, duh... PEACE for crying out loud. I could feel it inside my soul with absolute certainty, absolute clarity, I knew that everyone could feel it, the truth of it. I knew that shared belief could overcome anything. I still believe that. What I don't know, is the word for that most obvious fact. "Peace," is a hippy word. The "peace sign" does not evoke that most obvious inner knowledge, it evokes a strung out, unbathed, menace dancing badly.
At about 15 years old, I started reading about inhumanity. I particularly remember reading John Hershey's Hiroshima, and books about the Holocaust. I wanted my eyes opened up very wide. I had a reason in mind for this reading. The reason was, "in case something like this happens again, I don't want to be a person who passively allows it to go on around me. I want to be very familiar with the signs and symptoms."
Two thoughts recently went through this mind that made me remember this project. These thoughts put me on alert, in case I might passively allow things to happen to my neighbors that in the clarity of hindsight would look a lot like everything I had tried to know better than. Wouldn't I have known better than to inter Japanese Americans if I had been alive in the 1940s? Or, if in Germany, wouldn't I have known better than to ghettoize my Jewish neighbors? Wouldn't I have known better than to dislocate American Indians if I had been alive during the Andrew Jackson administration? Or would I have been relieved that "someone" was "doing something" to "protect me" from a "threat?"
Someone whose thinking I respect recently said he believes we are in a religious war. Maybe so. What thoughts this war, whether it is economic, religious, political, or national, evokes in me will tell me a lot about my deep attachments, my deep identifications. Identifying "them" will tell me who I still, erroneously, believe "I" am. It will show me the distance I must travel to my Peace Prize.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Spiritual Consumerism
A point of brutal honesty came along in my meditation practice. Asking myself, "Why am I doing this practice?" the answer came, "because I want good health." I found in myself an attitude along the lines of, "If I pay into this spiritual system, I will be purchasing certain goods."
What kinds of "payments" was I making, and what was this "spiritual system?" One form of payment was following the instructions of meditation teachers I encountered through books and schools. Making financial payments to the spiritual teachers and institutions I "believed in," was another form of payment. Service to individuals in my spiritual community was another.
I say this was a moment of brutal honesty, because ostensibly my goal was spiritual unfoldment, but in fact I was yearning for health, and relief from my physical discomforts. I was hoping some outside force, organized through traditions and teachers, a "spiritual system" would deliver the goods if I made the right forms of payment.
Oops! I seem to have lost my "I" in this conceptualization. I see a little "Me" relating to a powerful "Other" in a role that might even be more lowly than a consumer. Does it seem a little bit like I have spent the last twelve years of my meditation practice as a spiritual beggar? It does, a little bit. This is not to denigrate the "payments" I was making. I can still participate in spiritual groups and classes with a different self-concept.
It took some time to answer the question, "If not for health, (a pretty good motivation) what motivation do I wish I had for doing this meditation practice?" A morning glory on my fire escape helped me re-conceptualize my goal. Maybe you know something about morning glories, but I didn't know anything about them when I put the seeds in my planter box: assorted wildflowers and some morning glory seeds. At first I was sorry that only one morning glory seed sprouted. But there is a lot of life force in one morning glory seed. This phenomenal life force unfolded hundreds of leaves, that incidentally created shade for the less hearty wildflowers in the box. That life force requires a lot of the limited water the planter box can hold, and the wildflowers suffered in the competition. The morning glory wound its way up the water spout toward the upstairs neighbor's tomato plants, and I can't tell you what happened up there, because I am afraid to look.
It's perfectly natural. And in my way of looking at a morning glory, it's perfectly wonderful. But using the morning glory as a metaphor for myself, I would like to make it my goal to see the whole planter box. I think it would be wonderful if I could transform myself so that even in my brutally honest moments I could answer that I am doing my meditation practice for the good of all. I'm not there yet, but I find it helpful to have a direction in mind.
What kinds of "payments" was I making, and what was this "spiritual system?" One form of payment was following the instructions of meditation teachers I encountered through books and schools. Making financial payments to the spiritual teachers and institutions I "believed in," was another form of payment. Service to individuals in my spiritual community was another.
I say this was a moment of brutal honesty, because ostensibly my goal was spiritual unfoldment, but in fact I was yearning for health, and relief from my physical discomforts. I was hoping some outside force, organized through traditions and teachers, a "spiritual system" would deliver the goods if I made the right forms of payment.
Oops! I seem to have lost my "I" in this conceptualization. I see a little "Me" relating to a powerful "Other" in a role that might even be more lowly than a consumer. Does it seem a little bit like I have spent the last twelve years of my meditation practice as a spiritual beggar? It does, a little bit. This is not to denigrate the "payments" I was making. I can still participate in spiritual groups and classes with a different self-concept.
It took some time to answer the question, "If not for health, (a pretty good motivation) what motivation do I wish I had for doing this meditation practice?" A morning glory on my fire escape helped me re-conceptualize my goal. Maybe you know something about morning glories, but I didn't know anything about them when I put the seeds in my planter box: assorted wildflowers and some morning glory seeds. At first I was sorry that only one morning glory seed sprouted. But there is a lot of life force in one morning glory seed. This phenomenal life force unfolded hundreds of leaves, that incidentally created shade for the less hearty wildflowers in the box. That life force requires a lot of the limited water the planter box can hold, and the wildflowers suffered in the competition. The morning glory wound its way up the water spout toward the upstairs neighbor's tomato plants, and I can't tell you what happened up there, because I am afraid to look.
It's perfectly natural. And in my way of looking at a morning glory, it's perfectly wonderful. But using the morning glory as a metaphor for myself, I would like to make it my goal to see the whole planter box. I think it would be wonderful if I could transform myself so that even in my brutally honest moments I could answer that I am doing my meditation practice for the good of all. I'm not there yet, but I find it helpful to have a direction in mind.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Clear Water Meditation Circle
The Clear Water Meditation Circle meets on Tuesday evenings from 6:45 to 8:45 pm in Manhattan.
6:45 - 7:00 Gather
7:00 -7:30 Silent meditation
7:30 - 8:15 A short passage from the literature of some meditation tradition begins a talking circle. Participation is voluntary.
8:15 - 8:45 Social
Clear Water Meditation Circle is open to meditators from any tradition. Please e-mail Jennifer at jelyrose@gmail.com for location.
We do not have any expenses and collect no donation for the Meditation Circle. However, you may make a donation to support our efforts to bring spiritual teachers to New York, if you wish.
Hope to see you there.
photo c. Luke Stodola
Monday, September 24, 2007
Actions Enlighten You
"Concepts, followed by proper action, (remember, action enlightens you not the knowledge!), brings the result...you doubt that, that is what you get." --Yogacharya Nishit Patel
A Noiseless, Patient Spider by Walt Whitman
A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launched forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.
And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form'd, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.
A Noiseless, Patient Spider by Walt Whitman
A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launched forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.
And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form'd, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)